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Dick Munch Poop God (DMPG)
Dick Munch Poop God. The Poop God. Poop God. DMPG. His names are many, but the legend is the same. Conceived in an O'Riley's, delivered in a Taco Bell, raised in Gardner, Kansas. A legend was born in America. Notorious for choking out a bald eagle with his pinkies, spreading thousands of cheeks with a single bowling pin, and being so trendy New York knows about him, but they don't REALLY know about him, ya dig? HE DROVE A MOPED. Though his only verse available to the public is on the SQUAD "Intervention" album, his bars live on in the hearts and minds of everyone in the United States. Origins He scored a tour with Modest Mouse because he's a meme overlord with cool shirts (at the time, that was all it took to make it in the industry). After the tour, he had to change his style to stay relevant. He started rapping under his first name and wearing overalls for the controversy of it. At the peak of his local fame, Choir Boy heard of him. He needed someone to fill Sweet D's spot for a show in Denver. His performance was a smashing success. After they got back to Kansas, Choir Boy called a now-famous meeting at the local Apple Bees. It was here the Squad decided he would be inducted, pending a name change. At that moment, the building shook. Beams of light came through the windows as the white kid stood up, threw his fist in the air, and shouted "CALL ME DICK MUNCH POOP GOD!" It was perfect. He would be christened Poop God (DMPG for the church shows). It was about this time that J Peso was due to drop a mixtape. The SQUAD would provide key features to support its success. Today, "Intervention" is probably the most successful mixtape of all time. Peso wrote the first track, Cheesy did the second, Money was third, D was fourth, Choir Boy was fifth, and DMPG finished it off. After hearing the mixtape, D-Thug sent Gandalf a message. He had his own squad and he wanted to battle. The SQUAD was coming off a loss at a battle at Old Settler's Parade and Thug's crew was the best in the U.S. They needed an X factor if they were gonna win in front of a live audience in Paola. Gandalf chose the group for the battle carefully. He wanted Peso as a hype-man, DMPG for controversy, Money for wordplay, Big D to intimidate, Cheesy for flow, and Sir Henry for the X Factor. They journeyed to Paola. On the way into the venue, some of D-Thug's fans surrounded them. They were gonna have to fight their way out. Gandalf had them get in circle formation. A particularly rowdy fan ran up on Cheesy to start the battle, but Cheesy hit him with a right hook that sent him to the ground. The fans dispersed quietly after seeing him get knocked into next week. But just before the show they were back and more SICKO MODE than ever. Thug was popular in Paola, and his crew had hyped them up while he was gone. Smoke machines sent fog everywhere as both sides took the stage. Thug's goons started. They were tough, roasting the whole SQUAD and everyone they loved. Peso led the SQUAD in, changing the tide and forcing the fans to vibe with them. DMPG took off a strap of his overalls and his nip slip really got the crowd goin. Money threw in some crisp wordplay and took on Thug directly, a bold move. Big D jumped into the crowd and started a pit. Three grown-ass men were hospitalized. Cheesy's flow was strong, but it couldn't match Thug, who ran on stage and came straight for Gandalf. He toasted his mom. It was too much. Peso and Money had to hold him back. Henry went after Thug, but it wasn't gonna be enough. They needed a miracle. Cheesy knew what to do. Taking after Tyler the Creator, he ran into the crowd, found live goldfish in a tank in the back, and ate three of them right in front of everybody. The crowd went wild. The SQUAD had defeated Thug and his crew. Cheesy was given a Coach purse for the power of his verse. On the way home, Gandalf gave them a pep talk. He let them know that everyone did well, except Henry. His bars weren't enough, so he got cut from the crew. After a period of intense training with Gandalf and his friend from Philadephia, the SQUAD became Bear Klub. DMPG was already building a fan base of his own, so he decided to work independently. You can still catch him in Lawrence, Kansas City, and Olathe puttin new rappers in their places. His primary income comes from his alleged involvement in the Meme Cartel, but he still battles for fun. Always be ready, for the Poop God could strike again at any moment...